text to voice

It may be a phone compatibility thing, but if it isn't there shouldn't really be all that much involved in setting it up. If its anything like the F Pace, when you get a notification of a text message there should be an option to have the car read it out. You should be seeing either 'read' or 'listen'

No option pops up at all. nothing

The feature might be buried somewhere in the infotainment settings. I've tried looking through the Jaguar website, but for whatever reason the text message's webpage isn't working..

you might have better luck asking your dealer and often they're willing to help. sometimes its even those guys at the drive-thru that know these off the top of their head.